"Pigalle"-
Martina hated this word. It reminded her of so many negative emotions. It summarized ten years of prostitution in the streets of Paris. Martina had just turned 30 this Friday. When she looked back at her life, she felt ashamed of herself. She secretely hated herself for what she had done, although she didn t become a prostitute by free will. She had been trapped into the sex business and once she realized it, it was much too late. Her pimp was an evil man who sought retaliation and she had to earn a specific amount every day, otherwise she would be beaten up badly.
However, Martina caressed the hope to escape the body selling business. One day, while Tony, her pimp, was away from Paris, she just run away and asked for help. A social worker took charge of her and recommended her to an association. She luckily found a job as a waitress at the opposite side of Paris and managed to rent a tiny room close to her job. Martina was still beautiful, but there was so much sadness into her eyes. She had given up the hope to meet true love in her life. She was afraid of men. She hated the way many of them considered so called " normal women". She had the impression that men hunted their sexual objects and once they obtained them, they threw them away like unuseful dolls- at least, that was her truth. On her day off, she decided to sit at a terrace and have a little expresso. The terrace was overcrowded. There were just two places left and she occupied one. When she expected it least, a young American man in his early thirties asked her if he could sit next to her.
Martina accepted. Tom was a handsome man and his eyes looked like clear water. He engaged a conversation with her and took her number. Martina decided to see him again, because he looked so different from all the men she had known before. He treated her with respect and listened to her. After a while, Tom asked her for a date. Martina accepted, but she denied him physical love. After a few weeks, and as Martina still seemed to have huge blocks as he wished intensely they could make love, he invited his girlfriend for a coffee.
"Martina, I don t understand why you seem to deny me your love...I have immense feelings for you, I truly love you...did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?! " No, you didn t, Tom. It is coming from me. Listen, I will understand if you leave me after I reveal you a dirty secret of mine from the past. I have been a whore in the streets of Paris, for ten years. I escaped by miracle. Since then, I am having difficulties with men and the topic "physical love".I still envision making love as dirty. When I was forced into sexual relationships with old, ugly and stinking men, I used to spend at least one hour under the shower. The water had the power to clean my body, but not my soul.
My soul is dirty and I am so much ashamed. It is difficult for me to trust you, although I do love you. But if you want to leave me, it is all right, Tom, I will survive." Tom was moved by Martinas raw honesty. He held her hand tenderly and told her: "My sweetheart, we will make love when you will be ready. We have the eternity in front of us. I ll wait." Martinas eyes were full of tears. Six months later, the couple got married.True love found a way.
Copyright© by Isabelle Esling
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